My entire life I have loved to read, research, and write. I’ve maintained youthful curiosity and love of learning well into adulthood. I have always spent time reflecting in hopes of growing. And, I have always loved hearing people’s stories and experiences. While I have a strong understanding of who I am and what I hold true, I don’t want a rigid perspective of the world, stuck firmly to some moral or intellectual idea that never changes. I want my perspective and ideas to evolve as I learn more about myself and the world.
Despite my love of enhancing my learning through hearing others’ experiences, I have never been very comfortable sharing my own stories. But, if I learn from others’ stories, why couldn’t people learn from mine?
This blog is giving me the means to open up about myself. It’s about my trauma and my path of personal growth. It’s a place I can use my skills and passion to aid in processing, and it’s an opportunity to help others.
For most of my life, I never had a therapist. At times I didn’t think I needed one. Other times I arrogantly thought I was smarter than the therapists I briefly tried out, and “why would I pay a therapist who can’t see through my shit?”
I eventually realized I’ve had varying levels of depression throughout my life. And, when I fell into a severe depression in 2013, desperately wanting and needing support, I didn’t have health insurance. The overwhelming darkness and pressure sent me running – fleeing the place I’d called home my entire life to another state. But the depression followed and I couldn’t find my footing because of it. It got worse as life got more difficult. Or life got more difficult as it got worse. It didn’t take too long for me to move back home. That’s when I started to try anything to help me pull my life together.
I did some aromatherapy. I studied Feng Shui. I started hiking. I quit drinking (for the most part). Then, I took an on-line Introduction to Psychology class at the community college. I wanted to learn the basics of what was happening and try to gather tools to help myself. Game changer.
In 2018, I was in the mental, emotional, and financial position to have a therapist help me figure myself out and forge a path to who I want to be. Leveling up.
The things I’ve learned over the years lead me to believe in a biopsychosocial approach to mental health. It’s a humanistic and holistic approach that examines how biological, psychological, and social factors can create certain situations and how treatment can be multidimensional.
I am so grateful that I found a therapist who I trust, who “gets” how I learn and how I live, and who is just so damn kind. She really drives home the point for me that it is vital to have an objective guide on our personal growth journeys. BUT…I also know that not all of us have access to a professional. (I’ve been there.) This blog is not just an opportunity for me to share my story, but to share ideas and tools so that anyone can have access to some means of addressing the things in their mind that plague them.
Important note: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I am sharing tools I have tried and that I have researched. Anything I share here was provided to me by a professional or I have researched it (in which case, I will share links.) Please make sure to talk to your doctor/therapist about this stuff!